Overcoming “What if?”
The three keys to crushing it
The first time you lay your eyes on them you are at peace. After months of anticipation the day has finally arrived. You’ve argued about what name to pick, fought over which products they will need first, discussed how you were raised and given your opinion on what that should look like for them. You know this is the beginning of so many great things to come and you are overwhelmed with joy. As you hold them in your arms nothing else in the world matters at that time. There are no distractions or doubts crossing your mind. Everyone around you is celebrating the birth of a new life and nothing can diminish the flame of your dream coming into existence.
As you leave the hospital all of the celebration starts to die down and the real world comes to pay you a visit. With a knock on the door, “What if?” shows up to remind you of all the things you haven’t thought about yet. Then the fear of not being prepared or being uncomfortable begins to set in. Why is fear the first reaction that we have? After celebrating a new life you’d think that would be the only thing we can think about. Unfortunately our experiences in life pop up in our minds to remind us of the things that we weren’t prepared for in our past.
Maybe you’re further ahead in your parenting journey and are experiencing joy in other areas in your life such as a promotion or buying a new house. With every congratulations, high five, and “Good job!” coming at you, there’s still that little voice in the back of your head making itself known. It knows that if you pay attention to it long enough you’ll fall for its deceiving message reminding you “What if?” What if you can’t live up to the company’s standards now that you’ve been promoted? What if you actually can’t afford the mortgage you just got done signing for on the dotted line? Every time we experience a sliver of success that voice reminds us it’s there.
According to the bestselling author of “The 10X Rule” Grant Cardone, fear is actually a great indicator to take action. It also means that we don’t know something; either we haven’t asked someone for advice or we haven’t educated ourselves on the subject yet. Most however believe fear is a paralyzer; a stopping point at which point no further action can take place. Whether you are a new parent, a veteran, or maybe you’ve accepted a position at a new company, “What if?” will linger in the back of your mind until you make the decision to get uncomfortable and handle it. Everyone knows that change is difficult (if you let it be) and it’s because even though what we have going on in our lives isn’t perfect, it’s familiar. We enjoy comfort because it doesn’t cause pain, fear, regret, resentment, or stress. However, at the same time we sit and dream about what could be possible for ourselves and know we can do more with our lives.
I had these same thoughts about what more I could be doing at a point in my life for seven years once. Every day I was chasing something and I didn’t know what it was yet, but like most “What if?” called me to believe that I needed to question every vision I had for my future self. It took the form of friends, co-workers, and family members, reminding me to take it slow, wait for your time, do what you can, and don’t burn yourself out. Disguised as a trusted resource, I began to see it more and more until I finally figured out what was keeping me from shutting it off and moving on to embracing my greatness. This led me to ask myself if this would not only affect me but the ones I cherish the most.
“the difference between crushing “What if?” and continuing to just allow your vision of what you want continue to be a day dream is your ability to get outside of your comfort zone”
Have you ever thought about the impact this can have on your children’s view of what is possible for them in this world? Have you ever thought about if they will grow up paralyzed in fear of the unknown or will they stand tall in the face of adversity and say yes, I can do this! Will they stop at “What if?” or will they push forward asking “Why not?” Look, the difference between crushing “What if?” and continuing to just allow your vision of what you want continue to be a day dream is your ability to get outside of your comfort zone and initiate these three strategies into your life as a parent:
- Become Aware – You have to be aware that you are even having these kinds of thoughts. Most of the time our thoughts are so routine, we don’t even think about the impact they have on us on a daily basis.
- Educate Yourself – Look to those who are crushing the goals you’ve day dreamed about in your life. Find out how they are able to move forward and why you are still at the same level. Do not focus on comparing yourself, focus on emulating success. This will help you develop a plan using the same tools and resources the successful are implementing in their lives.
- Take Action – Don’t think about it, commit and figure the rest out later. This is what the super successful do, not only as parents, but in their professional lives as well. Taking action builds momentum that not only propels you forward, it helps you take leaps and bounds over what you were previously doing.
Look, I get it, these strategies look like common sense and you’re probably even telling yourself right now, “I get it.” I’ve been there too and then I was enlightened by this statement from bestselling author Brendon Burchard, “Common sense isn’t always common practice.” I challenge you to take action on these strategies by writing them out, literally put pen to paper. This is the best method in order for it to stick; meaning you’ll learn from it and actually take the time to implement it because you have a better understanding of the material.
Article by: Kyle Hendrix
Kyle Hendrix is the co-author of “Obsessed with Parenting,” a playbook written by parents for parents. He has written this book with his wife and has collaborated with other parents to include their advice and experience to make sure this is a well rounded message geared towards helping parents reach their highest potential. “Obsessed with Parenting” is just the beginning for them and is focused on being a platform to provide great tools and resources for both kids and parents. Visit them at www.obsessedwithparenting.com and enter for your chance to win a free copy of the book!