THE IMPORTANCE OF BECOMING UNCOMFORTABLE WITH HONESTY
“Honesty is the best policy”, we have all become familiar with this statement, and the reason is simple, it is true. Honesty has many benefits that come with is, however, with all the benefits there are the reasons why many tend to not use honesty often. There is a lot of discomfort that comes with honesty, and the number one reason is someone else being uncomfortable with the truth. Due to this fear of discomfort many tend to avoid telling the truth.
The reason truth is crucial not only in business (but also in life) is the amount of credibility and trust that come with it. Regardless of what the relationship is trust is crucial, and trust is acquired through truth. This trust is what a great relationship is built upon, and the promise of honesty is always placed, however, there are times when the truth is found to be uncomfortable to deliver and/or receive. Thus, often the honesty policy is a promised element in an relationship, however, it is often not used.
We need to change this issue, and we need to change it fast, and it begins with the awareness to how important the truth is. The truth can be a very uncomfortable acceptance universally, this is true. The reason for this is there are times hearing the truth can affect our pride. However, we need to know the truth, otherwise we can run into what I call, “false confidence”. What this means is, you can be told you’re very good at something by one person for so long, and then be told you’re not good by some other people down the line. If the original person told you the truth you could have noticed your weaknesses and began working on them. However, the original person was uncomfortable with telling you the truth, thus they elected to fill you with false confidence, and eventually this always affects a relationship.
It is the same with lies that over time affect a relationship tragically, the truth of the matter is simple, the sooner someone is told the truth, is the sooner they can begin to grieve and adapt to change. The longer you hold in a lie only adds to the pain and hurt someone will feel once they are told the truth. Thus, this means if you genuinely do not want to hurt someone choose not to offer false confidence, and inform them of the truth right away. The truth is always going to hurt, however, the longer you choose not to tell someone only increases the pain they will experience.
The amount of discomfort comes with the amount of time you decide to hide the truth for.
Therefore, the truth is crucial in all relationships with others, however, how important is truth with yourself? It is of the highest importance. Trust in relationships with others to build a positive relationship, and the same is for with yourself. However, when you try to lie to yourself it haunts you tremendously as you cannot run from it, you can never lie to yourself, as your mind is so aware of the reality with your life. Trying to lie to yourself is a crucial way to fall into depression. Holding lies has been proven through numerous tests to increase stress levels and health issues.
When you look at yourself in the mirror and try to force the lie on yourself, you are only adding more negativity to yourself. It is hard to hear the truth from others, and it is equally as hard to hear it from yourself. When you hear the truth, it can allow you to feel weakened and judged, however, we rely on the opinions of others to become aware of our weaknesses, as being honest with ourselves is being judgmental of ourselves. The truth is there is success within judgement, as we are unable to be truthful to ourselves, thus we rely on the truths from others. There is comfort within the truth, we just need to be able to accept criticism from others, and from ourselves as well. We need to be aware of our weaknesses through the reminder that no one is perfect, thus we will all have parts of us that will need working on. The longer we focus on lying to ourselves and choosing to ignore constructive criticism will eventually prove to be counterproductive.
When we can understand not everyone strives to belittle with their truth is when we can determine the intent, we need to learn to cherish and respect those who are honest with us. Every successful person has someone they thank for being supportive through honesty. We all have that one person we wish to always thank for never being uncomfortable with being honest with us, the ability to be honest with someone also stems how the person responds with honesty.
If you are someone who always becomes defensive or offer excuses whenever someone is honest with you, they will always choose to be dishonest with you. You need to help people be comfortable with being honest with you. This works when you and the person enjoy the discomfort of honesty, and within this discomfort you will find the comfort with being honest with one another. This relationship will become one built on honest, and thus the amount of trust you will garner for each other will increase the benefits of the relationship. Or you can have a relationship that proves to be toxic for both involved as they never got passed the comfort they found in lying to one another. Do not remain comfortable with lying due to the fear of making someone else uncomfortable, the truth is always going to be uncomfortable, however, the truth will always be important. There is more risk in the comfort of lying, than there is in the discomfort of hearing the truth.
People deserve the truth, and people need the truth. When you enter the discomfort zone with honesty, you enter an opportunity to build an amazingly beneficial relationship. Honesty is the BEST policy with ANY and ALL relationships. We need to see more people become comfortable with being uncomfortable, as this process builds to a trustworthy relationship for all involved.
There is zero gain in the comfort of lying, there is all to gain in the discomfort of telling the truth. Never remain comfortable lying, remain focused on entering the discomfort zone with being honest, this is the zone where relationships succeed. However, you need to remember to be able to accept what you can give. Never have the mentality where you can handle giving he truth, however, fear or do not accept it when someone else tells you the truth, honesty is a two-way street in the sense you need to be to give and receive it. Do not make people choose to lie to you due to reacting in a poor way, be open to it, when you become open to truth, you become open to opportunity of growth.
Become uncomfortable more often with honesty in the sense of giving and receiving it, and soon enough honesty will become second nature to you. The sad truth here is this, you will lose people, you will have people look at you negatively, and you will have people feel you’re arrogant or rude. The thing is this is due to their inability to see what you’re doing, and that is exactly what others are scared to do. The people who are comfortable with false confidence and lies are the ones who will never succeed, as they will never be open to truth, they love to be blind and enabled. They will consistently miss amazingly beneficial relationships, and with the lack of ability to appreciate truth they will lose on so much personal growth. At times those who are honest with you are not “haters”, they are people who genuinely care about you, and thus want to be honest with you.
You can learn so much from someone who is honest with you, as they will help you become aware of the weaknesses you hate to admit to, or are not aware of. Fact is you need to listen to those who lie to you, and to those who tell you the truth, and you need to determine which you want to become comfortable with, and why. Within the answer, you will figure out your future, do you wish to remain to be lied to, or do you wish to listen to those who are being honest with you? The choice does matter on your personal growth, and your future.
You can remain comfortable with the lies and dishonesty, or learn to find the benefit within being uncomfortable with the lies. You will find more success with being uncomfortable with the lies and dishonesty, and not being uncomfortable with the truth.
Become uncomfortable with those who lie, and always remain uncomfortable with them. Avoid those who want you to remain comfortable within the lies, as they do not have your best interest in mind. You need to associate with people who want you to know the truth all the time, regardless of how comfortable it is to lie to someone. No, you want to be with people who love being uncomfortable, they kill comfort of dishonesty as they know you deserve to know the truth.
Dave M. Boddy